Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Randomize
