Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
