New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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