Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I am available for nakedness
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
