wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
