Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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