i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
