Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
