Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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