they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
