Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
