Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
