I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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