Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
