I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
