I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
