i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
