I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
