don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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