i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
