you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
