I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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