Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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