Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
