wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
