Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just made my gag reflex go away.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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