i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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