Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
