So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
