i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
