Duck Duck Cougar?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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