Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
