What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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