i think i have herpe
just one?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
