i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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