So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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