you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
