you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
