Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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