Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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