Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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