She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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