I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
