He had one of those small greek statue penises
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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