Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The air was thick with penises
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
