she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
