so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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