eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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