Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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