just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
