is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
50% drunk capacity currently
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
